Saturday, October 2, 2010

why do i always end up here..
[wordy post]

..and find it difficult to start anything.
anwsss, im in the state of confusion yet again
it sucks cuz it seems like i have split personality
haha but no! i dont.=] and this is different form bipolar.
i find it hard to understand myself, what more you huh.
oh before i talk about how unproductive today was for studying
this qn has been flying in my head since forever

sope! moving on to today
today was extra unproductive cuz my family's home and the tv's always on
it's like, super easy to get distracted
i didnt get to finish what i intended to do. booo
means i have to x2 2moro.

and i was thinking... YES, STOP IT ARH YOU GUYS, I DO THINK. don ask me what brain or what. tsssskkk haha a mess!
i should change my blog name back to hot mess. HAHA!
it's like, i was thinking, i don usually reflect on my life or decisions i make cuz i don want to make myself regret anything
minor example: when i take super long to buy something, i will constantly remind myself what i bought is the best so i'll feel better and not regret my decision
KAY WAIT! that seems like a lousy example. hahahha. but that's one fact bout me.
but yeah, regretting sucks a lot though i know it's normal to sometimes. i just don really want to live with regrets.

OH THE OTHER HAND, i do think bout how i could do something better, or say something else.
i contradict myself so often that's why it's hard to understand me. HAHAA. see! im a mess
but eh.... i think it applies generally to girls, or maybe it's just me, oh and melia too. HAHA

right! im forced to think about things when i cant get a seat on the long train ride back and hence cant sleep my way through.
and the thoughts often gets me emo. i don know if it's normal though. ahhaha. cuz vanow say she gets emo sometimes this way too.
maybe the songs in my mp4 played a part too. LOL.

went to school on thurs for phys consultation but ended up staying till like 930 in school to study.
i was studying alone in the canteen cuz i had my consultation there and being the lazy me, i refuse to move to the void deck. HAHA
but duagu has phys consultation too and joined me in my studying after [ xiu! it's so weird to call him dua gu. HAHA. sophy says i say dua gu weirdly ]
LOL. i had consulatation with daniel tay and studied with daniel tay. both are different daniels. HAHA
im going to call daniel, mr tay.
but we ended up talking more actually. HAHA
melia said he looked like a rock
so i told her to study him
geog joke. TEEHEE=]

okay, i should go to bed early and wake up early when my family's all not up yet to study.

and i ask again, how did we end up like this?

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