Saturday, December 6, 2008

i don noe if you care or not bout what had exactly happen but
im just gonna share it with you guys

zen fell off the building. from my level, which is the highest level
i didnt know
my whole family went chek jawa in the morn and they accidentally woke me up
and my eld bro texted me to find zen
i thought it was a normal day
zen must be sleeping somewhere
but after finding him and calling him for damn long
i got tired and watch tv
then my mum called and ask me to go down to buy bread for my breakfast
so i decided to just check
yknow, i never expected myself to see anything
i checked that area just for fun
i had hopes that he wouldnt be there
but as i near that area
a guy that just walked pass turned his head and kept looking at that direction
at that moment, i got so scared
i turned my head and all i saw was zen's body flat on the ground
lying there motionless..
i 4got how to breathe
i was at lost
i covered my hand over my mouth
and i was breathing so hard
i ran back to the lift to go back home to call my mum
but there was this other guy in the lift
i was breathing heavily and i saw that he was looking at me weirdly
i wanted to tell him that my cat died to ease my pain
but i know he has nothing to do with it
the moment he left the lift
i cried
i cried so hard
my hands were shaking when i opened the door
i was all alone
my neighbours were all not home
i left the door open and called my mum
i cried for the first 10 secs b4 breaking the news to her
that... was the hardest part
after all that, my mum told me not to see zen anymore, and go to someone else house
i don noe what happened after that. all i know is that i kept crying and crying
every inch of the house reminded me of zen
i wished it was a dream
i wished i was in a nightmare
i kept thinking about his motionless body
it kept replaying in my mind
i called various ppl
finally someone answered
jocelyn answered and i told her what happen
so i went down to her house
but b4 that
i wanted to see zen again
but i was so scared
i wanted to embrace him one last time but i couldnt
i felt so guilty
i just stood 5m away looking at him
he was once so bubbly and cheerful.
he was so active
but curiosity really killed my cat this time
we do not know if he slipped or something attracted him to jump
it was all too sudden

i reached rax's house and she tried million ways to console me
we finally settled down with a movie she rented
it almost got me not thinking bout zen
but prom night is bout killing and when i see those ppl crying so hard when their loved ones are killed. i got reminded of zen again.
thanks rax for everything today
i appreciate it
i know im suppose to get over with life and all

but the house feels so empty now without him
i'll miss playing with him, miss scaring him, cam-whoring with him, feeding him, touching him, embracing him and miss kissing him just below the ear.
all he left us were good memories
he was a naughty cat but we loved him all the same
my eld bro took it the hardest i think
he was the one who took zen back in the first place
it just that, when i was about to love zen ever more, he left me.
it's so painful.
there's no one to rub our feet anymore
no more meows. no more noise
no one to roam around the house
no one to appreciate paper balls and empty plastic bags anymore.
rest in peace my dearest one.

p.s: im fine alr.

to zen: i hope you'll remember us. i miss you.

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