Thursday, August 28, 2008

I WANNA THANK everyone that tried comforting me but i blow them off. and to my teachers too

ok, just to BRIEFLY explain my previous few depressing posts
i got into some trouble with the discipline side cuz i was rude
it's a very complicated matter and no, though i know im wrong because all the teachers say so..
but im not exactly remorseful?
damn, im weird!!!
i wanna thank my form teacher for supporting me all the way
she understood that i was suffering and upset and angry
but she told me that life's like that. blame it on my luck
she gave me sweets to cheer me up for detention
she believed me
her emails are very motivational
and im extremely touched.
so this morn, she asked to see me, bout the dm thing.
and she encouraged me alot
i was totally moodless this morning. i had no mood to even stand str.
she passed me 2 packets of sweets and i wanted to hug her
but i had no mood to. oh wells
i was so touched
when she said don cry, i wanted to cry. the tears ALMOST came out. but i managed to manage a few smiles at her jokes
then after that, she asked me to call the teacher and pass him the letter i was suppose to write
i called him

over the phone
zhen: hi __
__: who are you?
zhen: shu zhen, im here to pass you the letter
__: what happen to you? why you sound like that?
zhen: nothing
__: are you sick?
zhen: no
___: why you sound so upset
zhen: nothing
__: where are you?
zhen: mini forum

after he came out
i passed him the letter than he asked me those qns again
omg, both he and my form teachers are so tall
i kept looking upwards
anws, yea. then i kept saying nothing
and he was like. ok..
but as i walked back to class. i started to cry, so i went to 2nd floor toilet to cry
i just read the mail ___ sent me
i don know why i always feel like crying when i read it
they make me sound like a horrible kid
like a jailbird that needs proper care to repent or something
ughhhh. they say they will pay more attention to me?
wtf? i don like teacher's atttention. at least not this kind
anws, smita wrote me a love letter again
i shall go read it again to improve my mood
this morn sucks
but at the end of the day. i was smiling. i want to smile.

look. i cut my nails and it's so short. nice to press the button of the phone. and good thing i cut it b4 detention. wanna know how my detention went?
well, we were weeding the parade square. now the parade square so clean (of cuz not, it'll never be)
i think weeding is fun
but we were not allowed to sit on the floor. -_-
my nails were black after weeding. that's why thank goodness i cut my nails.
if not it'll be so gross
and the parade sq is just like a buffer. my nails was buffed unevenly after weeding.
but after a while, it started to rain
so the coucillors brought us to the rotanda to clean the railings
oh the railings are so clean now.
the detention ppl say i clean until so good
hahah. im honoured to be a cleaner of the sch man (of cuz not, i'll never aspire to be one)
yeah then had a talk with ___ (yeah that same teacher)
i think we talked for veryyy long
omg. my impression of him became better
but after reading the email he sent me just now
back to sq 1. oh wells. i just hope he doesnt teach me next year

doodles in class

i cant thank my form teacher enough

she has been of GREAT help

thank goodness it's teacher's day 2moro and im gonna write her a card

i needa bathe now

btw, im going back to my pri sch 2moro, or should i....

AISHITE-I-MAS [I LOVE YOU] TO EVERY CARING SOUL WHO WAS CONCERNED FOR ME. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL OF THAT!! I CANT SAY MORE THANK YOU. you guys pulled me thru. i need a hug!!!! (btw, tania's hugs are the best. i hugged her today. felt so much better)

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